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How to Tease out her wild side

1. Put her at ease
If your date is nervous, help her discard her inhibitions by being sympathetic towards an inept barman or forgetful waiter. “Fear of being judged is a big factor with speaking up,” explains public speaking coach Sarah Lloyd-Hughes. “People instantly relax when they sense a benevolent audience.”
She’ll be more game to flirt when she feels grounded. It’s as simple as making her aware of her feet. If she’s wearing heels, jokingly admire her ability to walk in them. If she’s perched awkwardly on a high stol, ask her to step off it. If standing at the bar, rest your weight on your back foot. “If you’re angled away, she’ll be drawn forwards,” says Lloyd-Hughes. “This unconsciously engenders a sense of audience engagement (aka, you), encouraging her to open up.”
The Clincher
Bring out the flirt with cues such as ‘you’ve made me feel really good.’ Lloyd-Hughes says: “When speakers know they’re eliciting positive emotions in their audience they are less self-conscious about what they are saying.”
2. Seed sexy thoughts
If insecurity about her body is making your girl shy, try getting sensual. Talk about taste, music or temperature to focus her mind on external factors. “In nervous people, the brain’s neuroinhibitors are on overtime and this enhances their senses,” explains hypnotherapist Dominic Knight.
Take note each time she mentions something physical she admires about a female friend or celebrity. “Whatever characteristic she focuses on, link her to it in a future conversation,” says Knight. This creates a subliminal connection of what she considers sexy and her own body. She will associate those positive feelings with you and her hang-ups will evaporate. Make the compliment stick by offering a ‘because’. If you’re extolling her new haircut or lingerie, tell her that it’s because it complements her eyes or breasts.
The Clincher
Buy her some flowers. “Brain studies have shown they have a calming effect, helping her to open up,” says Knight. One study found that a woman is 62% more likely to give a man her number when in a room full of blooms.
3. Applaud the actress
Trying something new in the bedroom can cause libido-crippling performance anxiety. But like any actress, she’ll perform better if she knows she’s at the centre of your attention, says director Kate Rees-Davies.
“I make sure actresses see me turn my mobile off, even before a two-minute audition.” Do the same on romantic nights. “And if an actor’s having trouble with confidence, I feign surprise and exclaim ‘Really? You have an air of ‘xyz’ to me!’.” Seeing you incredulous at her lack of self-assurance will bring out the performer in her.
For something more emotionally intimidating, like meeting your friends for the first time, first work with a ‘skeleton crew’. Arrange to see a couple mates before taking her to a big party or wedding. Then when you get there, bag her a seat with walls on two sides so she only has to control approaches from one direction.

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